Today I learned that a friend of mine passed away unexpectedly. I have not talked to him recently, and so I feel a huge sense of guilt. I feel guilty because the last time I talked to him was via text message and was several months ago. I feel bad because I never became really close friends with him—even though this is hard to do with many people. I wonder if I would regret not talking to him had this tragedy never occurred, and how often I would think of him if he lived a long, healthy life. I find it to be fate, that just last week I talked about him to friends of mine—how I had spent time with him.
It’s interesting how I deal with death in my internship, and yet the fact that I did not know the patients makes it fairly easy (for lack of a better word) to move on. Do I feel guilty because this person died, or do I feel guilty because I did not see it coming—and I never told the person how great I thought he was?
Death is never easy. It reminds the living what life is really all about, and it challenges us to be better, more. I am deeply saddened by this person’s death whether he was my best friend or a guy I just happened to know. I am sorry for the family and friends he left behind—as his passing came as a shock to them as well.